I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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