Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
