Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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