I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
