I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
