ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
