if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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