your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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