i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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