question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
