Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
