I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Actions speak louder than pants.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
