She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
