Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
