Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The Olympian is in my bed
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
