i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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