your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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