Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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