Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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