So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
