I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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