You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
