So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
