You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
