after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
