writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
