you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
