This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
