Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
