Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
