..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
