he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
