He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
