sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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