11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
