Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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