You're so nebulous sometimes
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
