you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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