i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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