i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
