We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
