Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
