i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she peed on how many people?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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