I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
