She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he was CRYING into my vagina
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
