I forgot how hot balto sounded
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
