It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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