Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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