I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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