Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
