yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
