Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
