what day is it and did you see me today?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
