It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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